digress (v.): \dī-ˈgres, də-\ to turn aside especially from the main subject of attention
This is the page where I tell you about myself. Unfortunately, I’m really not that interesting.
…No, that’s not true. I think of myself as extraordinarily interesting, but then again, I also am famous in my own mind; the star of my own show, as you will. It’s part comedy, part drama, but mostly musical theatre. Think Glee, only all in my head.
Because it’s all in my head though, I’m not sure if you’ll find me as interesting as I find myself. I’m very self-doubting in that way. I mean, I have some interesting history, but right now, my life is kinda boring. Let’s compare my past life to my present life, shall we?
Past Life:
- I was once a fire eater in a circus (True. This institution called “Circus for the Kids” came to my summer camp and trained me how to “eat fire.” Note: the fire isn’t really eaten. Also, I was the Ringmistress, balanced on a giant globe, and did flips on a tiny trampoline into some mats. The fire eater’s the most impressive one.)
- I was temporarily famous on the internet for running the most popular Animorphs website with two of my friends back when Animorphs was the best book series on the go and the internet first became popular.
- I spent a fair amount of time from ages 2-5 in comedy clubs and going to comedy shows as my father and his friends were part of the most bestest comedy group in Philadelphia – voted so by some magazine in 1982 or 1983 or so, I forget. They were headliners. People that are famous now once opened for them.
- I performed on stage when I was in college a lot. I know that’s not a big deal, but it is to me, and I miss it dearly.
Current Life:
- I married some awesome Canadian guy and he and I live in the suburbs of Philly with our dog, Mozzy.
- I teach middle school math. Please don’t hate on me too badly, I try to make it fun.
- I’m currently training to become a runner… After never being one for my entire life, this should be interesting.
- I have the best family in the world. My mom’s side are a bunch of awesome hippies who love folk music and getting together for big family meals. My dad’s side are staunch republicans… except for my paternal grandmother, the family matriarch, who was once part of the OSS (precursor to the CIA) and was a big supporter of Barack Obama in the 2008 election. She’s a hero of mine, even if she does tell me to get my elbows off the table when I’m eating! (She is, after all, a southern gentlewoman through and through.)
There you have it. Maybe I am still interesting now, but not to the normal eye. Then again, who has a normal eye? My dog certainly doesn’t – he has heterochromia.
I dunno. I guess you can make your own judgments.
By the way, I can’t be the only one who thinks the word “judgment” is definitely lacking an E. It should be judgement. Stupid Noah Webster. Ruining the superfluous E. I also spell it “theatre.” Well, when referring to the idea of theatre on stage, not like a movie theater. That’s different. You go to the theater to watch theatre. If you’re interested, here is a great website that lists a bunch of “errors” in the English language, including debates on judgment/judgement and others. The linguist in me was giddy running across this.
…Wait. Where was I? Oh right. Telling you about myself.
My name is Rachel. I’m a teacher. I’m trying to read again. I want to lose 20 lbs. I want to learn how to run. I love my family, my puppies, lasagna, singing, and parenthetical statements. I will constantly stray from the topic at hand. I apologize in advance for any confusion because I really do want to try and write something entertaining, I just tend to stick my own thoughts in… in my thoughts. If that makes sense. I’m sure it doesn’t. I sometimes only make sense to myself.
Alas… I digress.
